A Reminder To Myself


“There is a basket of fresh bread on your head, yet you go door to door asking for crusts.”         

— Rumi

Sometimes (or if I’m being real here, OFTEN times), I forget about the spark of divinity that lives within me. The same spark of divinity that lives within all of us, regardless of religion, gender, or race.

And I think I often forget because it’s so easy to believe that your worthiness depends on your looks, your accomplishments, your career, what clothes you’re wearing, or how much money you make a year. Based on how much praise, respect, and admiration we give those who are seemingly perfect and beautiful and rich and happy, it’s easy to convince yourself that if you’re not any of those, you aren’t worth anyone’s time. That you have to fight to prove yourself in this world. To be seen. To be heard. To feel valued.

But frankly, I’m tired of that. I’m burnt out from it.  I’m exhausted. And I think I’m done playing that game. I want to unwind from all that.

With that, I truly believe there is a better way. An easier way. Trees have no trouble growing tall and strong. Flowers have no trouble blossoming in the spring. Nature all around us effortlessly thrives. So why should we constantly have to fight our way to happiness? Why can’t we trust in this power, that same power that forms little babies in a womb or makes seeds into big oak tress, to lead our lives for us? I certainly want to, but like I said, I often forget.

I write to keep myself sane. I write because sometimes I need that internal voice in my head to be written down in physical form so I can actually pay attention to it. And I find that when I don’t write, I’m either depressed, repressed, or suppressed.

I also write to remind myself of things I’ve fallen in love with. Things that make me happy to think about. Like destiny. Or the Universe. Or God. Or the truly wonderful blessings that are always in my life. And how I’m already amazing. And how everyone else is already amazing. And we don’t need to be anything else but how we are, exactly in this moment. With all of our flaws and struggles and issues. Beautiful, divine chaos!

Kisses & Meows,





Photo by Jony Ariadi on Unsplash


On Favoring Ideologies over Real People

We can see easily see how strong ideologies can tear people apart and cause nothing but destruction.
Want an example? Just turn on the news.
There is a difference between standing up for what you believe in, and destroying all those who don’t agree with your beliefs. One is loving. So loving. And the other is fear that breeds more fear.
Recently, something in my life has happened that has allowed me to understand this concept more deeply.
Let’s start with this. I was born and raised as a Catholic in a very Catholic family. I went to Catholic school from kindergarten until 8th grade and have been to mass every Sunday for most of my life.
When I was a teenager, my rebellious brother showed me the documentary Religulous and soon after it wasn’t hard for me to drop Catholicism. I quickly went from a girl who prayed every night to the big man in the sky, to someone who was quite indifferent about it all. Maybe it was to be cool. Maybe it was to be like my brother. I don’t know, but it just wasn’t something I wanted to participate in anymore.
So, fast forward to a little under a decade later. I had gone through some real dark times and somehow made it out after discovering a new definition of God. I saw God in every face, every plant, every laugh, every particle of dust in the air. And it was with this liberated way of practicing my spirituality, I found something that is here to stay with me for the rest of my life. However, still living with my parents, I had to still go through the motions of going to mass or pretending like I went to mass, when really, I would go to Starbucks and read Buddhist or Spiritual self development books. That was my version of going to mass. That was my version on being with God.
Very recently, I found that I had had enough. I was feeling guilty because I kept lying to my parents about going to church. I knew if I told them the truth, it would hurt them, particularly my mom, who was raised in a severely Catholic household. So one day, I woke up on a Sunday and went downstairs for my coffee. My mom sat there sorting through some mail, and asked me what time I would prefer to go to church.
“Nah, I don’t think I’m going to go.” I said it so casually, almost being foolish with my tone. I thought that if I phrased it in that way, it wouldn’t seemed like a big deal. But boy, I was wrong.
My mom’s mood quickly changed, I swear it was like I saw a sudden flash of lightening fill the room. I knew I had just figuratively stepped into a horrific pile a elephant poo that would leave a foul smell on my shoes for days.
“What do you mean you don’t want to go to church?!”
“I just don’t. It’s boring and Catholicism doesn’t resonate with me anymore.”
“Well, I don’t want to be one anymore.”
“Aren’t you scared of what God will do to you if you don’t go to church?!”
(I suppress a laugh.)
“So that’s it? You just won’t pray anymore or go to church?! After going to Catholic school?! What about your soul?! You need to do something for your soul! This world is already as horrible as it is!”
She continued to rant on and on, and I was honestly astonished to hear all of the fear she’s tied into her own religious beliefs. Most of the things she was saying sounded like threats or impending doom. Like, if I didn’t go to church, a thunder bolt would come out of the sky and hit me. And I’ll go to hell. Like, if I didn’t go to church, how would I earn brownie points with God? How could I enter into heaven? The assumptions that I was fundamentally flawed and evil and that I needed go to church and pray to be on the good side of God just shocked me. I’ve been ignoring Catholicism so much that I had never even realized what it was really teaching. And maybe this isn’t all what Catholicism is about, but this was the version of Catholicism my mom believed. And it honestly made me sad to see that she felt so much fear.
“I’m not doing this to hurt you, mom.” I said to her, once she stopped talking.
“Yes! Yes you are doing this to hurt me!” And she slammed the door shut and left.
That stung. It really felt like she ripped a hole in my chest. Shortly after, however, I oddly felt calm. Usually, something like this would shake me up pretty bad, but it revealed to me how afraid she was. As we all are. Instead of clinging to mantras, meditation, and tarot cards like the rest of us, she was clinging onto the act of going to church and doing penance. She thought that by not having her daughter go to church, she was basically letting me go to hell. And as a mother, she couldn’t have that. So that I understand. But to what extent do you fight for those beliefs? And if it is being done out of love, then why do I feel so condemned and rejected by her?
After this incident, she didn’t talk to me for a few days. I tried to just act normal and talk to her as if nothing had happened. I didn’t want this to hurt our relationship. But at the same time, I was willing to stand my ground as firmly as I could.
And this got me thinking. Was she really willing to distance herself from me, her own daughter, because I didn’t believe in the same things she believed in? Were her beliefs really worth damaging this relationship? Was this really worth shutting me out?
I’m a person. A real human being. With thoughts, feelings, and her perspective on life. And it fucking hurts to be put aside like this just because of differing beliefs.
People who favor ideologies over people destroy towns. They burn their bridges. The set fire to anything and anyone who doesn’t agree with them. They live in black and white. They forget that these people are real people. Not some tool to advance their own beliefs. Not somebody to yell over while they’re speaking to tell them they’re wrong.
I’m not saying that my mother will destroy towns or set fire to anything. I’m simply using this as an example to depict what lengths people will go to prove that they’re right.
That being said, I’m not going to continue to practice something I don’t believe in. Even though it would make my life so much easier if I could just keep lying to her saying that I go to church like a good Catholic woman, I won’t. I can’t. Because it’s not my truth and it’s not something that feels right for me anymore. I’m so unwilling to keep lying to the point where I’m willing to face the wrath of Mom and all the things she’ll say to me about how bad of a person I am—so I can stand for the truth I believe in. And I resist, I resist, yelling back and telling her about how Catholicism is bullshit. Even though I really fucking want to. Because if I yell back or if I tell her how much I am right, and how much she is wrong, then I am no different. Standing up for what you believe in can be done peacefully. In fact, standing up for what you believe in is peace. MLK, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama. You know them. You’ve heard what they’ve done. You know it’s more than possible.
My situation isn’t unique or special. And it’s obviously not as worse as it could have been. People everywhere around the world are going through this–I don’t even have to say it. But this personal situation has revealed something of immense value for me to pay attention to. It’s helped me relate to the world differently and taught me to understand what standing up for what you believe in looks like in my life. And as I continue to gain clarity as to what is right and authentic for me, this I know is invaluable.
Kisses & Meows,

How To Be Positive When Things Around You Are Falling Apart

Sure, it’s easy to be positive when the sun is shining, when money is flowing in nicely, and when your hair decides to cooperate in the morning. Sure it’s easy to feel the positivity when people compliment you, when the tell you how much you’ve impacted them, or when you earn awards and recognition.
But if you’re like me, when the clouds start to come in, and the grayness sets in—when you receive harsh criticism from others, or when something absolutely tragic happens that flips your world upside down—the ability to stay positive ceases and it seems like you’ve been fucked over by life.
There are 2 types of positivity that are discussed out there. The first one is the most familiar to all of us. This is what most people think of when they hear, “Just be positive about it!”.  It’s represented by the cheerleader, the sun, and that bubbly person who is always so upbeat at work. This version of positivity plasters anything sad or depressing with one of those yellow smiley faces. “Don’t be so mad that you got a parking ticket. Cheer up! Everything is wonderful!” Don’t you just want to punch people who do that? I know I do! The problem with this type of positivity is that it thinks is can brush over and ignore anything that is not “happy”. And if one day you come into work not as chipper or or in a dampened mood because your dog may be put down, this type of positivity doesn’t allow you to grief. It doesn’t allow you to be human. And it blames you for every moment you may dwell in pain, fear, or negativity.
The second type, is called deep positivity. It’s represented by the Hermit of the Major Arcana in Tarot and the stars in the night sky. It is represented by that friend who sits with you when you’re crying and doesn’t say a word, and who is there for you empathetically and is willing to go through the storms with you. This version of positivity is like a dark shade of purple. It’s magnificent and beautiful, yet it encapsulates the essence of the dark times we all go through as human beings. Deep positivity says: “I know this hurts. And it will hurt for a little while. And it may take awhile for you to get to the other side of this, but know that this is making you stronger. And you will be okay.” It acknowledges the clear challenges we all face and the deep emotions we can feel when going through our life’s journey. It doesn’t gloss over it. It lets you feel, so you can release. And making you into a person who is able to rise above and transcend these tragedies into your own greatness.
Kisses & Meows,

Feel Reinvigorated with Self Love

I recently had a run-in with the good spirit of self love.

Somewhere along the way, I had forgotten the importance of talking to myself with kindness and gentleness. I had forgotten to check-in with myself and how I was feeling.

It’s funny how when things in our lives are going a mile a minute, we tend to forget about the nurturing art of self love and self care. Things have been progressing with work and I have been seeing an increase in my performance, as well as some good introspective insights, but it’s caused me to forget about nourishing my own self. And when I start to see external positive progress about myself, I can tend to be too hard on myself, expect too much of myself, and be too critical of myself. I see external progress as a sign to keep pushing, keep going, and not stopping. I suddenly think I’m above the idea of Self Love or slowing down or taking a break.

This has caused me to dive deeper into my self love practices, because even if life is going well, we still need to learn to be kinder to ourselves. External success does not indicate internal peace, and sometimes, it produces the opposite.

Here are a few actions I’m taking to get back to listening to myself and treating myself with kindness and love:

  • Check-in’s with myself during the day: Asking myself, how am I feeling? And if there is anything I can do to make things better at the moment? How can you feel more alive now?
  • Noticing when I’m judging myself or being too harsh: Sometimes I’m not able to catch the words, but I’m able to feel the feeling of being judged. It’s usually this tightness of anxiety in my chest, and I start to feel guilty or that I’m going something completely wrong.
  • Changing my inner dialogue: When I catch myself being too critical of myself, I can observe it non-judgmentally and let it go. This can be a challenge. However, I’ve come up with my go-to self love mantra that I repeat with feeling every time I observe the negative voices: I Love You. I Appreciate You. I Approve of You. I Respect You. I Honor You. I know you are going to do wonderful things. It’s okay, my love. It is okay. You are safe. You are safe. You are safe.
  • Put it into writing: This is something I’ve start implementing. Writing down or consciously finding 3 things I appreciate about myself or the moment right now. This is a booster to help energize you and be in the space of love.
  • Tending to my own physical needs more often. Drink water, use the restroom, find some stillness in a hectic day, have a healthy snack, stay on top of vitamins and supplements, moisturize your skin, take care of your hair.
  • The bottom line is to know this: You are brave and wonderful. I know you don’t think that sometimes, but you truly are. It’s okay to doubt and it’s okay if there is fear. But underneath it all, know that you are more than worthy. You are enormous. You are substantial. You are powerful. Use that power to create more love in this world.

Sometimes, progress comes in the form of failure. The resistance I’m going through now is another opportunity to truly purge negative talk and habits within me that haven’t been able to come out just yet. This is another “cleansing” period. This is indeed a period of rich progress and fulfillment. Be aware of this resistance, and thank this resistance. Thank it for bringing you back to your self love practices. Because self love and self care is so important, we can’t forget about it! Thank you, thank you, thank you.


Kisses & Meows,


Why I Eat For Pleasure

Because it’s the easiest, most thoughtless way to feeling good and relieving tension and stress.

It’s automatic. I don’t have to challenge my brain or try too hard, and the lure of it is that it works instantly.

Eating can be just a mindless activity. You can just sit there and watch TV while eating a bag of chips with no conscious thought of what you’re putting in your body. There is no regard to what you’re consuming—you’re just consuming. And it’s easy. Just like how easy it is to buy into whatever the news and media tells you. You end up just being a victim or a sucker who didn’t know any better.

Do YOU want to be a sucker?

I know I don’t.

One of the reasons why I’m so obsessed with personal development is because I don’t want to be a sucker and I want to get the most out of my life and have amazing experiences.

And if I’ve learned anything so far in my self growth journey, I know that I can change mindless patterns and bad habits by continuing to remind myself of what drives me.

Why do I wake up in the morning to go to work or do what I do? Why do I constantly want to grow? What is the vision I’m trying to achieve?

When I answer these questions for myself, I am able to access joy and relief instantaneously. Suddenly, stress will wear off and I’ll feel more relaxed and recharged. My energy starts to build up again as I focus on my big life motivations. And naturally, food becomes less of a crutch.

When you’re feeling burnt out, remembering  your “Why’s” is a better, more high quality way to experience joy and relief quickly and easily. You don’t need anything else to help you remember them. No food, no money, no netflix, no people. All you need to do is take a moment to pause and reflect.

Always remember….staying in touch with your “Why” is better than a slice of pie!


Kisses & Meows,



Photo by Ali Inay on Unsplash


The Best Way to Experience Your Emotions and Be Liberated From Them

I’m not a fan of scary movies.

As a kid, they’ve always left me so terrified that I couldn’t even go to the bathroom by myself! Scary movies have always had some sort of grasp on me and my overactive imagination. I’ve been constantly trying to avoid them, even now as a grown adult.

However, I recently decided to challenge this fear by going to see the horror movie It this weekend. I’m not particularly scared of clowns, and in fact, I thought the whole idea of a scary movie based on a creepy clown was pretty funny. So I decided, why not see it for fun? The whole concept of this exercise was to see if I could keep myself detached enough not get so sucked into it, realize it was just a movie, have fun, and leave it at that.

With that mindset in mind, I sat down in the movie theater, excited as ever to be finally willing to face this fear. Thankfully, most of the movie wasn’t too bad—just some jump scares here and there. Although, at some points of the movie, I started to get sucked into it. Observing the rush of fear within me, I mentally stepped back and took my head out of the water. I looked at the movie as just a movie—with the creepy lighting, the talented orchestra creating suspenseful music, and the wonderful actors sharing their gifts. And I was able to detach from it completely and not give into my fear. It is just a movie, I said myself, It is just a movie. And just like that, I was able to sit back, and enjoy the temporary thrills this movie had to offer.

After this experience, I just had to wonder, What if I used this same technique in dealing with strong surges of emotion, like fear, anxiety, or stress, and therefore, being able to maintain a calm, level head in the midst of them? Maybe even enjoy them? What would happen if I could just zone in on certain aspects of an emotion to break it down—to the physical sensations, the dialogue in your head, or the shallowness of your breathing—just how I broke down the elements of the horror movie—the lighting, the music, the camera angles, the costumes, the fake blood. And once you do that, you are suddenly looking at your anger or sadness as like a painting on a wall. Simply observing it, calm and unattached. And like how some of us decide to watch scary movies for fun, we can try to have a fun and light approach to experiencing emotions, even the negative ones.

Similar to the last post, I’ve been on a roll with trying to reframe emotions and see them in different ways. It’s been interesting to find our that I can change the relationship I have with them, and not have my emotions have command over me. The whole point is not to eliminate emotions or numb them out—its about knowing how to deal with them in the best and most effective way possible when they do surface (and they definitely will).

Think of all the benefits of mastering your emotions! You won’t ever have to turn to all those compulsory habits that aren’t that healthy for you—like binge eating, drinking, smoking, or endless amounts of Netflix to numb out the emotions. Panic attacks disappear, the hair pulling or nail biting habits dissolve. You’ll simply be able to experience the emotions, let them go, and move on with your day.

Emotional mastery is such an essential part of living the life you’ve always dreamed of. It improves the quality of your life, your relationships, your health, and your career. This is a topic I’m very interested in, so get ready to here more about it in the future.

Until next time….


Kisses & Meows,



Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Reframe Your Negative Feelings and Push Past Your Comfort Zones To Live Your Dream Life

Part of making positive progress is being willing to feel unpleasant feelings, such as nervousness, anxiety, fear, stress, shame, irritation, or guilt.

Now that I have much more free time on my hands with my new job, I realized how much I wanted to spend some of that time creating more connections with others. Which would require me to go out and seek new friends—for the sole reason of making new friends. Not because they’re my classmates, or my coworkers, or because it’s just convenient for me. I have to go out there. And that scares me so much. I’ve been putting this off and making excuses for weeks. There have been multiple meetups I could have gone to, but chose not to because I fear the feeling of being vulnerable and alone in these social situations.

Stretching out of our comfort zones is hard. We all know that. But what if we simply reframed the nervousness, anxiety, fear, stress, shame, irritation, or guilt into a general feeling of “unpleasantness” or “discomfort”? In doing so, we diffuse some of the power these emotions can have over us.

See it as like being in a cold room. You’re shivering. You’re balled up. And you’re a bit uncomfortable. Are you going to sit and criticize yourself for feeling uncomfortable in the cold room? Are you going to sit and whine about why this has happened to you? Or, are you going to simply walk up to the thermostat, see that it’s at 65 degrees, and calmly turn it up to 70, and be on your merry way, knowing that the heater will gradually kick in?

Sometimes, we get so wrapped up into what our thoughts are, why they are here, and how awful we are to have them, that we don’t realize the simplicity in the solution.

The equivalent of turning up the heat would be acknowledging the uncomfortable feeling, feel it in your body, and surrender it. Knowing that it will gradually fade away on its own. Like turning up the thermostat, you didn’t need to get so involved in how the heater works or go into it like a mechanic and start moving some parts around, it just works on its own.

What do I mean by feeling it in the body? When you sense a feeling come up, try to see where in your body that you feel it. For me, fear and anxiety form as tightness in my chest and throat. Stress manifests as tension in my back and forehead. It will be different for everyone. So when a feeling arises, try to feel out where it’s residing. And when you’re doing this, focus on the physical feeling of it and let go of all chatter or thoughts in your head regarding the process or the situation you may be in. Concentrate on the physical side of it. Feel it. Acknowledge it. And when you do that, you’ll realize you’re just dealing with the feeling of being uncomfortable. The feeling of tension in your chest is uncomfortable. The feeling of tightness in your forehead is uncomfortable. And you stop cycling the endless stories and dialogue in your mind that continues to feed these emotions. And you realize that the fear, anger, or nervousness is not some big monster you need to fight. You realize that simply dealing with the physical feeling can be all you need in order to push past them, and get out there to do something great. Like make new friends, or write a blog post, or start a project.

In the end, I like to think of feelings as just feelings. All feelings, no matter how uncomfortable they may seem, are temporary and will pass. Don’t let it take over and hijack your goals, ambitions, and dreams. These feelings of discomfort will always be part of life, and the best thing we can ever do about them is to notice them and learn to smile at them with faith.


Kisses & Meows,




Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash